April’s Impending Reign of Showers

I found myself with some time during the Icepocalypse, and jotted this down, so I today present a little satire for your Saturday.

The mid-west froze in it’s slow paced tracks last week as, “Icepocalypse 2011” slid it’s way across the country.  Quickly followed up Snowpocalypse, meteorologists now turn their gaze toward something far, far more sinister.

Aprils’ Reign of Showers.
“I’ve already got me a pontoon boat.” said James “Jamie” Kurnch of Mooresville, Indiana. I use it down on Lake Cataract every summer – way I figger, I’ll just be getting drunk sooner!”

Not all residents are as laid back. “I DON’T HAVE A BOAT, OMG WTF WILL I DO TO SAVE MY TRENDY RESTAURANT!” wrote twitter user @winecellar1977. To translate, we went to local president of social media expert science lab, and mayor of 93 local foursquare locations, Kenny Savage, and he gave us this totally unrelated quote.

“Many have come to me, saying… how will you cope with the intrusion on your bohemian lifestyle,  and attend all of those networking events?! Let’s just say… someone owns some special twitter handles, and has already started working on something special for the future of the web.”

How will the world cope?! Time will only tell. Be sure to come back for our next report:

“Pilgramage – how May’s flowers will bring us home.”